Anger is a normal experience for everyone. It can even be useful when managed appropriately to assert oneself or to manage a negative confrontation. However, when it starts to affect important parts of life, such as your relationship with your partner – it can become problematic.

If you have noticed your partner experiencing outbursts of anger, you are not alone. Many people cope with this in their relationship without any help until it starts to severely affect the lives of both you and your partner. This can often turn into a pattern of both partners in the relationship resorting to anger and aggressiveness during disagreements.

Some indications that you or your partner are having difficulties with anger and may be in need of professional support includes:

  • Random outbursts of irritability, rage and anxiety
  • Commonly resorting to verbal, emotional, physical or psychological attacks when a disagreement arises
  • Have an increasing amount of conflict within relationships
  • Using alcohol and drugs to manage the anger
  • The anger lasts much longer and is more extreme than one would normally be given the situation
  • Situations unrelated to the event are impacted in a negative way
  • Feeling guilty after an outburst of anger

Besides these more visible effects, anger can also have a negative impact on a person’s long-term health, regardless of whether it’s expressed or bottled up. Some of the concerns that are at a higher risk for people with anger difficulties include headaches, insomnia, other mental health disorders (i.e. depression and anxiety), high blood pressure, and in the long-term it can even increase the chances of having a heart attack or stroke.

If you feel lost in how to help your partner and don’t know where to turn, the practitioners at VCPS can provide you with support to rebuild a positive relationship again. Some of the methods that may be used to support you and your partner include:

  • Identifying appropriate ways to discuss the concerns with your partner
  • Identifying the triggers of anger and implementing strategies to prevent it
  • Developing strategies to appropriately deal with anger and other negative emotions when they arise
  • Learning how to appropriately address this with kids or other people who are affected
  • Teaching appropriate ways to be assertive and other communication strategies that can be used to resolve conflict
  • Working together to encourage the individual to accept one-to-one assistance