Losing an infant can be an extremely traumatic and difficult thing to go through. It often comes as a shock, and so it can be hard to understand, accept, and get through as a couple. The sense of grief can be overwhelming, and therefore it is common for the grief to have a impact on both partners’ lives for an extended period of time.
It is also expected for the loss to have an impact on the relationship between you and your partner. You may be struggling to cope with the sadness that you are both experiencing. You may also be reacting to the grief in different ways, and are finding it difficult to understand and assist each other throughout the grieving process.
If you have experienced a miscarriage, it is also possible that you haven’t told many people about it. The lack of acknowledgement and shared memories of your child’s life can add to the grief. Some people also experience mixed emotions, particularly if the pregnancy was unplanned or if you were unaware of the pregnancy to the miscarriage. The loss of a child after birth or in the first few years of life is also devastatiing and can leave you feeling empty and unsure of how to move on.
You should not have to work through this alone. It can help to seek the support of a professional for both yourself, and as a couple, to work through the emotions that you are experiencing. Everybody copes with loss in different ways, and so you may have your own wishes or needs during this process. You may be wanting acknowledgement and acceptance of the loss that has occurred, and ways to continue to honour the life of your child. You may be wanting assistance to move on, and find your romance, love and happiness back as a couple. You may also be wanting support to have a new child after previously losing an infant.
Whatever your emotional needs, there are VCPS practitioners who are experienced in supporting couples struggling with the loss of an infant. They can work with you individually or together, so that you are able to support each other. Some specific ways that a practitioner can assist include: